Sometimes we hear about people who we sense are our kindred spirits. People will say, "Oh, you have to meet so and so. You do similar things." Well, that's what has been the case with our sister, Ifalade Ta'Shia Asanti. She's the co-founder of and visionary behind the World Pride and Power Conference.
Read what Ifalade has to say about the relationship between her spirituality and sexuality as she answers Essential Questions.
1. Tell us where you grew up and describe your memory of what your childhood/adolescence was like.
I was born in Chicago, Illinois but grew up in Los Angeles. We made the transition from the Windy City to Los Angeles when I was 7. I immediately fell in love with the City of Angels. I loved Chicago and always will but in addition to the warm weather, the beach and her energy is what my spirit needed to become me.
My childhood was incredible and at the same time frightening. I became an activist when I was 12 years old in response to the poverty and struggles I witnessed in my communities. My mom was a teacher and an artist (sculptor and watercolor). My father was a doctor and Christian minister. Mom and dad divorced when I was seven. This was tough but I believe it was among the many healing lessons I was destined to experience.
I grew up around very strong women who worked hard to accomplish and have their version of the American dream. They were society folk all the way—debutants, AKA’s, you name it but were conscious enough to be VERY interested in Black empowerment. My entire family embraced the teachings of Science of the Mind when I was very young. Thus, I grew up without the sickness that religious oppression can produce.
My family was very involved in politics. My aunt was campaign manager to several well known Democrats including a U.S. president. I had early aspirations of running for office but when I realized how deep the racism and the bureaucracy was, I gave up my dream to be the first Black woman president to focus on grassroots organizing.
My childhood experiences were still quite amazing because I was immersed in a world of conscious celebs who were really into black consciousness. Willona from the Good Times sitcom, Isabel Sanford and Marla Gibbs from the Jeffersons, Mayors, Senators, Council people, these were the guests at our family parties and get togethers. It was eye opening to say the least.
2. What did you learn from those experiences about your sexuality and sexuality in general?
My first lesson was that sex and sexuality were taboo subjects in Black communities. The environment I grew up in was very socially acceptable. Folks went to college, got married, had two children, purchased a big beautiful home in a fine neighborhood and worked somewhere for 20 years. My life would totally defy this existence.
I realized I was two-spirited at 13 years old though I didn’t know what that was. I loved men but I also wanted the affection of women. I didn’t know anything about being “gay” or “lesbian” and when I found out what those terms were I still did not see myself as defined by these terms. All I knew was I loved certain women in a different way than I loved my mom, my aunts and friends. But I loved me too, deeply and romantically.
I was fortunate to grow up with a mom who was not oppressive. She did not teach me that my body was bad or that loving myself in every way, including sexually, was bad. She didn’t say that, but I just felt that she thought self-love—including self-pleasure was a healthy thing. She taught me to honor my body and to appreciate the power of my femininity.
While my mom did freak out when she found out I had actually fallen in love with a woman, she shortly thereafter came to fully accept and affirm my loving women as okay and fine and normal. Her answer, “if you’re happy, and you have someone who treats you nice, that’s all I care about.” She credited her awakening to Oprah’s public affirmation of those who find and share love with those of same gender.
3. Tell us about your spiritual background and training.
I am a Yoruba/Ifa Priestess initiated with the ase and wisdom of the Orisa Yemoja. Ifa is a West African spiritual tradition that originated in Nigeria, West Africa among the Yoruba. Variations of the faith were practiced across African and the Diaspora (the Caribbean, Kemet, Benin, Ghana, Togo etc) and later, after the middle passage, the religion was syncretized with Catholicism and Christianity as a means to preserve it. Ifa came to the Americas along with the enslaved Africans.
I am one of about 40 African-American women in the United States who have the title Iyanifa which was given to me by one of my Elders in the faith. This is the highest initiation a woman can have in the Ifa tradition. Iyanifas’ do specialized work that incorporate and draw upon the teachings of the deity Orunmila who is seen as the prophet of the Ifa faith. I am trained to conduct pretty much all initiations in the Ifa tradition. I am also a master diviner using African oracles Obi and Dillogun. I am a student of the Opele which is an ancient oracle used only by the most distinguished priests of my faith.
Finally, I am a seer. I work with (I use this term loosely in lieu of time and space) the ancestors for the purpose of promoting and facilitating the healing of indigenous and conscious communities, as well as myself. I am also a Osainista (priest of the sacred Ewe or herbs) which I use to make healing medicine. I also work with food as medicine for the body, mind and soul.
3. What has been the relationship between your spirituality and your sexuality?
They are one and the same. Being a two-spirited woman gives me access to dual realms of human and spiritual existence. I believe this was a rite given to me by my ancestors both for protection and to do the work that was and is a part of my divine destiny. It’s important to note that this is not some obscure, mystical magical tradition. Ifa, as well as my work with Spirit i.e. the ancestors, is a science, a physical, spiritual and energetic vehicle that allows us to tap into (on a biological flesh memory level) ancient medicine and practices that assist us in our survival and success. This is the birthright of all indigenous peoples.
When I use the word success I don’t just mean success from a Western perspective (money, cars, things), I mean, “the ability to side-step and avert major obstacles both internally and externally, and to engage our greatest happiness, health and passion….” This, for lack of better terms, is my spirituality and my religion which can be defined as, “Love, happiness, wellness, sensuality, sexuality, prosperity and personal freedom.”
5. Tell us about your work and the role of love in your work.
Love is my work. Everything I do is about creating more love both inside of me, for and of myself and in the world. Much of my work is also about fostering a deeper understanding and appreciation for cultural, sexual and spiritual differences which ultimately produces more love.
My professional titles for logical purposes are: Novelist, Screenwriter, Editor, Producer, Filmmaker, Poet, Activist, Journalist, Performance Artist and Playwright. My performances number in the thousands by now, as do my published works. I have worked on dozens of civil and human rights causes. I have organized conferences, retreats, summits and marches. I have been an activist in Black, Women’s and the SGLBT community for 20 years. I’ve been blessed to have been recognized for my work by government and my peers.
6. What sources of inspiration do you draw upon to do your work?
My ancestors, the Orisa, experiences in the world and in my community. My deep affection, unwavering romance and sensuality I share with my life partner. My non-fiction writing is heavily influenced by Bell Hooks, Barbara Smith and Audre Lorde. My creative writing is inspired by Eric Jerome Dickey, Terri McMillan and Anais Nin. My filmmaking is inspired by Spike Lee (his early works), as well as Julie Dash. I love what Tyler Perry is doing with women in film despite the heavy Christian influence of his films. My friend Dakara Wynne is also one of my favorite filmmakers.
7. What do you look for in a lover and why?
I look for a person who possesses an openness to experience life anew on a regular basis. They must love to travel the world, they must love and respect animals, they must love good, healthy organic food, they must be interested in some form of exercise, they must be spiritual in nature and being. I look for a person with a great sense of humor, a person who can become like a child when playing with a child, a person who has a success plan (see earlier definition of success), a person who is deeply affectionate (outside of sex) and who is free enough sexually to embrace and experience sensuality in unique and challenging ways. By challenging I mean a person who is open to….let’s say, making love outside.
8. Tell us about the context for one of your most memorable orgasms. What did you learn from that experience?
My most memorable orgasm took place within the context of complete surrender and vulnerability physically, spiritually and emotionally. Because I am so actively engaged in my own and other’s empowerment in my daily life, sex and other life expressions such as performance art, is where I let go. I learned that healthy sensuality for me is experienced through vulnerability, feeling safe, complete trust of my partner and having a partner who can love me deep enough to foster complete openness during our sensual and sexual experiences. I also learned that I must have beauty around me to feel sensual/sexual. Flowers, earth tones, running water, beautiful lingerie, nice linen, erotic food—my Libran self needs visual/erotic stimulation to be awakened fully.
9. What do you believe is one of the most pressing issues regarding sexuality today and what do you suggest as a means of addressing that issue?
I believe our most pressing issue is the role that Western religion played and is playing in the oppression of sexual/human/cultural/spiritual expression and the rippling effects it has on the sexual and mental health of our world. This, coupled with archaic idealism based in Western European influenced religious and social values has fostered a society where violence and oppression is more attractive than love and sensual exchange.
One of the solutions we can start with is to engage in a thorough research and written evaluation of how Western religion has contributed to the sustaining of social and other forms of oppression on every level. From there we can comprise a plan to dismantle systems of oppression that contribute to unhappiness, war and the lack of love/freedom in many parts of the world.
10. Share with us a goal for self-development on which you are currently working and why.
I am currently engaged in a transition to vegetarianism (ultimately becoming a raw foodist) in an effort to support greater love and appreciation of life in the world and to further prepare myself spiritually, physically and emotionally to do the work of being a vehicle for love on the planet earth. I am also working to build institutions founded upon the principles of love, global health and wellness, spirituality and personal freedom.
